I'm just as angry as everyone about this creep Van der sloot getting away with another cold-blooded murder of an innocent young girl because of the disastrous way the Natalie Halloway case was handled in Aruba, which brought such heartbreak and frustration to all those who loved Natalie -- a case that captured our nation's heart five years ago. It is sickening that Van der Sloot got off free only to commit the same heinous act again five years later to the day. All the horror and details and heartbreak and mishaps that happened along the way have come back to us. Yes, it is horrible, but that is NOT the reason that makes my skin crawl.
Two days earlier, his dream cottage I adored so much turned out to be a farce and he had landed on my doorstep of my parents cottage on their property announcing he was going to live with me. He did leave the night of the strangling incident but he was back in the morning with these earring he had bought at CVS. My parents were away for their birthdays (2 days apart) and so of course he came back.
So much media attention has been given to this story -- it's as if murdering a woman is such a rarity in this world -- and that it certainly wouldn't take place in OUR country. These dispicable acts took place in Aruba and in South America -- it is newsworthy to us because it includes, (tragically of course) a young beautiful American girl whose body has never been found where she vanished on the island of Aruba. Like this type of thing never happens right here all the time? Try every single day!
HELLO! Are we in complete denial? Murder of young women by abusive men; (in 90% of domestic violence cases the victim is the woman) whether it's one date, a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, or a marriage; take place right here in The United States of America ALL THE TIME. And domestic abuse and violence that often includes murder knows no economic, social or racial bounds. It is everywhere! Who talks about that and what is being done about it? Nothing! That is what makes ME mad.
Domestic abuse, physical and emotional; destroys families, often literally leads to murder, and at the very least can ruin the victim's emotional capabilities to lead a normal life. Domestic violence doesn't limit itself to certain parts of the population _ it occurs in all sections of our country and in all social and economic circles. Trust me, I know.
I grew up in very unusual circumstances that I won't bore the reader with except to say that no one would exactly feel sorry for me if I described my childhood and family upbringing. Briefly, my parents were married 63 years, I grew up in Washington DC as the youngest of three children, I went to private school, summered in East Hampton, skied all the time, and if you had bothered to read my book, you would know my parents very well and would love them. My adulthood, besides that damn ex-husband stealing my nanny and leaving me a total basket-case, was just getting to be great when I met this charismatic, dark-haired, green eyed man at a popular nightclub in East Hampton over Labor Day week-end three years ago. I fell for him hook, line and sinker right then. If I had to write out on a piece of paper exactly my type of guy, it would have been him. Not anymore!
We started going out immediately and for three months you could not ask for a sweeter, funnier, more giving, more popular, fantastic sexy partner. Actually, the day after we had met, I had to be taken to the emergency room due to a blood disorder I unfortunately have that acts up once in a while and who took me? Stayed all day? Took my parents out to dinner that night?Took care of me for weeks afterwards? He was awesome until he nearly killed me over a ten dollar tip I left a waiter we both knew.
He wasn't going to kill me at first -- just crash my head down on the bathtub that briefly knocked me out before he threw me down the stairs and dragged me up them again. I had never seen anyone in such a rage.
But that was nothing. It was when I mumbled, in shock "God I should call the police" that his eyes changed "Do you think I'm going to jail because of you? No police. Sorry. I will have to kill you, unfortunately." And he strangled me until I was on the brink. The very brink. Try to avoid this experience if you can. There are no words to describe the horror of knowing you are just about to die in the huge hands of some maniac with ice eyes that are embedded forever in my mind. This, actually, in case some of you know me, is why I can't sleep. It's not worth the nightmares. But that was just the beginning. It's not easy to get rid of a man who is six foot three with a temper that suddenly could switch on if you changed the channel during a commercial.
Two days earlier, his dream cottage I adored so much turned out to be a farce and he had landed on my doorstep of my parents cottage on their property announcing he was going to live with me. He did leave the night of the strangling incident but he was back in the morning with these earring he had bought at CVS. My parents were away for their birthdays (2 days apart) and so of course he came back.
That is when I lived in terror for five months, because if I had called the police and he had found out, I would be dead. And in that small town he was a popular guy -- he had a boat, fancy cars, took the cops on fishing excursions - he was a guy's guy.
The situation got much, much worse after that first night. After two detached retinas in my eyes from my head being slammed, a broken wrist when I made a run for it, a deep cut on my back when the glass bottle he aimed for my face crashed into the wall behind me and slashed my back into pieces, four calls to the police, and countless nights planning my escapes only to be caught, a dislocated shoulder and three broken fingers, he finally fled town in the middle of the night after trying to kill me with his car. He just I broke my back, though, but that seemed good enough and he left me lying there as he high tailed it to Floridain the middle of the night non-stop. My parents were beginning to thnk I was accident prone. "How did she get so clumsy? She was such a good athlete" they would say.
He had the nerve to show up back on town once and saunter into the one place he knew I would be. I was a little angry and a tiny bit braver after six months in a cast so I called the police and got him arrested. Finally! Thi! Why hadn't I done it before? Everyone in town celebrated like the wicked witch was dead, saying it was a brilliant move on my part, except they kept him in jail one night before letting him goon bail and with a restraining order that he could not get near me. THANK YOU SOOO much Mr. Officer: He will NEVER guess who called the police! This is when my parents got concerned at my odd behavior because I started sleeping under their bed.
But did he ever go to jail? Was I the first woman he had nearly killed? The answer to both is a resounding No. In fact, he had left trails of damaged women I found out later. I thought this was a good time to put myself on dating probation.
The accident that broke my back and totaled my car was three years ago December 23rd and I haven't dated anyone since. I'm alive. But many are not. So when we think of these two women and Van der Sloot, a cold=blooded murderer, I feel the same as we all feel. But why all the attention without mentioning or using this case to draw attention to the problem of violence against women right here in this country? What's the deal; like we are following a case so rare and so remote "Don't go to Aruba!"
Just remember, it happens all the time right here to our cousins and sisters and daughters and friends. It's not like some outrageous rare occurrence. Thats what makes me mad.
S0 the only thing I am doing, which is nothing in the scheme of things, is giving some of the proceeds from the sales of my book to The Retreat, which is an amazing program for abused women to heal and start a new life. I have to be honest and tell you I haven't given The Retreat a dime yet, because I thought I should pay off Southampton Hospital first. Then I realized THAT wasn't fair, and I made myself a deadline which is in two weeks. I've realized from this grandiouse promise of mine that I have a really hard time giving away money. But this is what I am going to do: I'm going to pay them. And if anyone who reads this wants to help out? I'll set it up so you get the book and you send the money directly to the Retreat and I won't take anything. Google it. You will see that it is a great cause and that way, some women and their children will have a chance to get away from animals like the six foot three guy and Joran Van der Sloot.
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