MY FATHER AND TEDDY KENNEDY

Since I started this blog yesterday and it was a complete disaster, I am starting again. Yesterday was the third anniversary of my father's death, which happened on the Friday of father's Day week-end when my brothers and Mom and I gathered to await his arrival and the beginning of a celebratory Father's Day week-end. He never came to the backyard to say hello, though, because he was having trouble with his new car (which, at 85, he couldn't quite understand).  We couldn't quite understand why he hadn't bothered to say hello but as we laughed about how he had a habit of ignoring us in favor of cars and airplanes and golf, laughing and waiting around the pool on a spectacular summer day in East Hampton ,so happy to see eachother at least. To make a long story short, we were a bit fussy when it came to dinnertime, and still no Dad, but I managed a short conversation with him as he raced in the driveway and got in his other car and drove out. I think he said "I love you and I know he asked how my brothers were doing and was it time to get ready for dinner. I said yes everyone was waiting it was time. but he had raced out of the driveway instead, had a stroke, and crashed into the tennis house and died. I assure you this post is about Teddy Kennedy, but its from a little different angle, because I figure I get a bye.

My father didn't hate all the Kennedys, as many do -- either loving them or condeming them, but he knew better since he knew them so well. I was born,( as we all are, with no choice in the matter how when and under what circumstances,) right smack ion the middle of the ongoing pull between my mother and father about the role of the Kennedys in their lives, which seemed to my father overwelming and intrusive and to my mother was purely delightful and "an absolute ball." I mean, why would she resist this charming, rich, increasingly famous and powerful family who absolutely adored her? Forget it! 

 Dad was livid when Bobby, all famous and charming, broke hospital rules and came to greet me when I was 18 hours old, picking me up amd giving me a little talk (I don't remember it, of course) and announcing that he had decided to be my Godfather. Dad had just met me and was home taking a nap.I don't think he was much into babies Mom was so ecstatic apparently that she had finally had a girl that my father got sick of the whole thing and left. So, Bobby Kennedy was the first person we knew who had held me besides my mother and this really pissed my father off, but the announcement tht he was to be my Godfather? 

All we had to do, Bobby told my mother and the nursses and I suppose me, was to turn Catholic. No big deal. My father, mother, two older brothers, (and me -- his self proclaimed God daughter) would go through a few lessons and all turn Catholic and the Kennedy family would pay for all the children's private educations well as set up trust funds for each of us and basically take care of us the rest of our lives and of course, he would be my Godfather. Teddy, who I also knew quite well, was a lamb compared to Bobby, because the reason Bobby did this in part, is to really get my father furious. My parents had not reached the pinacle of their financial well-being so my mother was really tempted by the whole concept and the next year Dad made more money he had ever made and he continued to do so until he turned 80 because he was determined to show that effing Kennedy family he could take care of his won children, thank you very much. 

So, The Davis family declined the offer, but that didn't mean I was out of the woods, growing up in terror at Hickory Hill every single moment I can remember as a kid, at the mercy of the "RFK's" as they were called, and so when Kara (Teddy's Daughter) and Caroline (Jack's daughter) were there, the three of us would hide in the closet on the second floor to avoid them.

Caroline moved when her father was murdered and the two RFK's I adored and who protected me , one a bit older and one a bit younger both died (David and Michael). But that was much later, and Bobby did teach me to ski very fast, pla football really well, swim at age three, play tennis, and never cry. My father furiously taught me the same things, so I became an incredably good athlete basically to stay alive. 

We went on family vacations, spent every afternoon after school, and bascially all our free time with this family but that's not the point. When I finally got to know the shy and different Kara, we became instant friends. After I got married and moved back to Washington and worked as a sppechwriter in the White House for President Bush 41 (the elder Bush) we became best friends. And that's when I got to know so well the man who was never called The Lion of the Senate when I was a kid -- he was always referred to as "Black Sheep."

I was heartbroken and bewildered not so much at President Kennedy's murder, although it did affect me because I adored Caroline and whe had given me theis Alice in Wonderland coloring book taller then three people for my ^th birthday and I was very excited about hers (which people may remember was at the same time her Dad was murdered, and plus the President had chosen my brothers and myself to be the poster children for his program, the Presidentail Fitness Kids, and we used to use his limousine to drive us back up the hill when we would ski at batter Kimball, and so although I was only six, I knw him and I knew he was a very big deal. When Bobby died it was devestating because he adored me. And then, in a much slower way, as an adult, I got to know Teddy. The Kennedys have very stron traits both dangerous and wonderful, but they are individually extremely different, and although it can never be forgotten he was a "murderer" trust me he never forgot it either. I loved his sense of humor and brilliance, and although I was a Republican who worked for Presidnet Bush, a fact he teased me about all the time, the thing I really adored about teddy besides his propensity for mischief (sneaking bloodies for Kara and I on the Mia so Vickie wouldnt see; sittng with Kara and I on stools in his kitchen while the three of us polished off a bowl of chicken salad; taking off from work to take us all sledding; buying extra gifts for Kara's children that were so delightful and thought out one could not believe he picked them out himself but he always did; leaving the Senate and racing over to kara's house while she and I watched 9/11 unfold together all alone under blankets in tears to give us hugs and then racing back to Congress; but there was so much more. Teddy was a beyond fantastic father and Grandfather and the real test came on an innocent December afternoon when we were all getting ready for Christmas (they would come over Christmas Eve so little Maxie, Kara's youngest, could take the beautifully aranged french chees my mother cherished and squash it and mold it in his little hands while we all watched in horror and Kara appeared not to notice) when kara's shoulder started hurting and two days later she was diagnosed with incurable lung cancer.

When Kara grew up, the RFKs lived in Hickory Hill, which was on about ten acres in a neighborhood ona fairly private stree. Kara grew up just a few miles from there, but the road was really busy; she had no sisters to play with only two brothers and one was taken by her mother when she left the house and Kara when Kara was eight years old.l No one exactly blames Joan; she has had a huge struggle and of course she loves her children, she simply was incapable of being there for them. I'm not going to go into the danger she put the kids in when she was drunk, but it was most likely best she wasn't around, although I know most readers can imagine how it feels to lose your mom at age eight, and have a very busy, high profile, famous, notorious womanizer party-boy, political figure as your father. Howver, he was the one who brought her up nd he did a fantastic job because Kara Kennedy is one of the most loving, centered, fantastic human beings on earth. And, perhaps because of the pain she went through as a child, I could not name a better mom. She is always ther for those kids - volunteering at school, reading them books every single night, taking them to all their soccar games and tennis matches and not spoiling them but being there -- always. Except for that year she was diagnosed with cancer that the specialist at Johns Hopkins gave her a 25 percent chance of living three years. 

It was Teddy and Vickie who took over everything and I mean everything -- and saved her life while also ensuring that her young children were well loved and taken care of the best they could be. I thought for sure she was going to die right in front of me just from the chemo. The day her beautiful long blonde hair was about to be chopped off, she was sitting in mom's living room contemplating the wigs. We were always the exact same weight and height and teased eachother about it constantly as she drove us to the gym every morning and we were certainly not fat. In fact, we were thin. She lost thirty pounds anyway. It was a gruesome, horrific, chilling experience to watch your best friend spend most of her time at Sybley Hospital due to her chemotherapy watch her become an unrecognizable ghost of her former self who homestly looked like a Holocost victim who wasn't going to make it. All our tennis, skiing, running, sailing, fun nights out, daily routine with our kids, her loving support, humor, her Dad's surprise exersions of sledding and festivity was gone. But Teddy and her Vickie ran her program and those children like a machine and she not only made it through, she is absolutely fine today. But she went to hell and back, although it was not ehr first time.

I found, as a child, the older Kennedy brothers to be much more demanding, moody, competitive, and many other things, although I did adore them. I think Teddy was more like a Teddy bear. He had many character flaws, but he did bring up his children and his grandchildren and love them unconditionally. He made us laugh instead of be scared, and he loved more than he became angry. We were on opposite sides of the political spectrum but that never mattered in the least, although he called me the natzi spy when I came up to Hyannisport and was always joking that I would sneak and read his faxes. he made huge mistakes and the few years I worked for him as a writer in my teens, I was shocked at the amount of hatemail he received every day. he always read his letters. he didn't forget the crimes he committed, although of course none were done on purpose.He was real. And when my father died three years ago? Kara was the first one to be there for me. So when her Dad died I knew she had lost the most important person in her life because he was the only person who was there for her always. I do have to say that Vickie was unbelievable during Kara's illness -- not just by being supportive but by giving her time, brilliance, commitment and everything to Kara to get her through it. Some stepmothers aren't stepmonsters. 

She calmed Teddy down and made him very happy. kara and I miss our fathers, although I would say she had a close relationship to hers than I did to mine, since when he looked at me he would often grumble :Those damn Kennedys."