CALL THE EX IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

"You won't believe what that asshole said to me last night!" "Oh God, its two in the morning! Why do you ALWAYS call me at two in the morning?" " He said, okay this is just ONE of the things he said that pissed me off. He goes, 'Does it bother you I'm only interested in you when I'm drunk?" "Was he drunk when he said it?" "Its not funny! Yes, he was but..." "That's easy. Like you. You slept with him." "What??" "I'm a guy. I know these things. Don't lie." "Wait, wait come ON! Foreplay, Baby! Its my thing. You know I'm in love with foreplay." Her voice changed to defensive. She was watching herself in the mirror from different angles. "Why do women think they'll get their man by sleeping with him? Its insane!" "NO. That's not what I wanted! First of all, he's WAY too neat. The clothes are all in drawers. The bathroom, kitchen, everything is perfect!" She looked around, picked up some undies and threw them in a laundry basket. Nothing had a place to call its own. "I'm not like that." she explained. "Honey, I lived with you for three years. You don't think I don'tknow that?" He was talking softly, but now with impatience which confused her. He He had to act like her friend. She was such a naive bitch; telling him these things. He wanted to get to the meat of it, like a self torture, but he couldn't seem as though it mattered. "So, you don't see any future with this guy but you're all upset. Youfucked him and now he's running." "Don't say it like that. It was amazing!" "Ego and lust." "Damn! " She'd missed the point. "That's brilliant! I should have said, 'It was just lust.' Lust sounds better than 'love.'" "Unless he loves you? Absolutely." " I thought he might." She was sure. "Why do women think this way? Sex and love do NOT have anything to do with each other. How many times do I have to tell you this?" There was a long silence. He'd gone too far. "Okay, so you had an amazing time! That's great! Hotel? Beach? Lets talk sex." "His car. A very small car." Rare pause "But now there's nowhere to go." "That's what HE'S thinking." " No, He's all freaked out about the in love thing." "Trust me he's freaked out about the sleeping with you thing." ""I thought I was in love with him. Before "He knew he wasn't before during after. Jesus are you eight years old?" " It was kind of surreal tonight when he was so mean --like he was chopping off my head." " Totally necessary.. You're hard to pry loose." "Oh fuck you. I know. Anyway You can't go back to that... Thing. So..." "I know. You love the Thing." "Its gone. Once they fuck you, the foreplay? Never the same" "Like talking to a tree stump."" "Oh, shut up I get it. He ended it. There." He didn't do the friend thing, did he? Say, "I hope we can still be friends." Because you know you will never hear from that man again. Its their way of getting free. You know that, right?" "Stop." "No, I'm happy for you. Glad you broke your 2 year streak. You could get all shrivelled up. It was a very good thing." She heard him light a cigarette. He was enjoying this. He wanted to hurt her, too. "Now YOU sound mean." She was the mean one to call him. She knew it. He exhaled. His voice held no emotion. "You said you were leaving for a month. That was five years ago. Am I supposed to be happy?" "I am coming home very soon." She lied, wanting the attention. Jump to attention! "Great. Happy Memorial Day." "Don't sob the whole time you're saluting all those motorcycle guys. That's so embarrassing. "POWs. Now say goodnight." "Goodnight. Thank you for saying it last." "One of your most lovable quirks. Now come home. You might lose me." "Will you be my friend forever?" She heard a women's voice and then his, "It's just my sister."All the rage and hurt and betrayal and confusion and foolish behavior she'd felt before she'd called him hit her so hard with this on top of it she doubled over. He'd done it on purpose. She clicked the phone dead _ the clear sign he'd won. Lust and ego. It wasn't only men.